Selina’s Bernard Manning impersonating Uncle – Uncle Bernie (!!!) – is out in Ozland as a core member of the Barmy Bunnies watching the cricket.  And guess what I hears on the news today? That police in Melbourne are hunting a thief who broke into their Sexland adult sex shop and stole a life-sized fantasy sex doll called Dorothy with ‘ultra realistic feeling skin’ and a titanium alloy skeleton. The perp is described of solid build and wearing a balaclava with huge side whiskers sticking out. The idiot fucker fits the bill, is in the vicinity, and has form having over the past few years raided every Ann Summers in the Birmingham area.

You thinking what I’m thinking? To all my Bunny Buddies in Oz –  if you see him, do not approach him. He’ll be loaded on a cocktail of Fosters and extra strong Viagra. And unlike the English cricket team, Uncle Bernie is lethal with his wood. You have been warned. Dorothy is a goner. And he’ll be calling himself (to anyone who’ll listen) the Wizard of Oz. Twat.

Apocalypse Cow is coptering in to moogBrew brewery open day in Taplow today to promote their fabulous new 7.2% milk stout that bears his name. A smooth and silky beverage, with a high value ABV, endorsed by an ex special forces cross dressing bull. Now there’s a marketing proposition you can’t ignore.

Tomorrow is a good day for rastas, rats and beer lovers. Our good friends at moogBREW are launching Rod’s Smokin’ Porter. Rod himself will be floatin’ over to the open day at their Taplow brewery with his sound system and droppin’ some dubplates. And suppin’ some porter. Smokin’.