Was reading about the Countess of ‘Wemyss and March’  (no I ain’t got a friggin clue where that is either).  According to that noble newsayer, The Daily Mail…“The crackpot countess (who drills holes in her head to get high) is using £550,000 of YOUR cash to prove magic mushrooms are healthy”.  Back of the net.

OK, the Aristos have always been into drugs related causes. Usually their own. There’s always some Eton educated Tarquin or Esmeralda spunking their golden spooned inheritance in some inner city crack or smack den.  What else they gonna do with their oversized inbred craniums?

But the Countess, she’s genius. When it comes to drug research she says ‘I have always considered myself my own best laboratory’. And now she’s teamed up with some scientist cove, Professor David Nutt, to run a joint research programme funded to the tune of £550,000 by the Medical Research Council. You couldn’t make it up. Professor Nutt! £550,000 grant!!

Countess, big bunny respect. My mate Toot Toucan has just borrowed the Black n Decker, drilled a hole in his head and been taken kickin’ and bleedin’ to A&E. Despite what he thinks, you can bet your tiara he ain’t gonna get a half million pound grant!!