Remember the days.  Bennies. Dexys. Blues. Pink Champagne. Good ol’ Billy Whizz. It was the drug that defined a generation.  You all seen Quadrophenia.

Talking of which – what the fuck does Quadrophenia mean?  Had to ask me mate, Fast Gerald.

“Quadrophenia is a made up word, mashing together “quadrophonic” which was a briefly popular form of music recording and playback to 4 channels rather than the standard 2, and schizophrenia, a mental disorder characterized by hallucinations and a loss of grasp on reality.”  There you go.

Anyways, back to speeding. You’d get a wrap for a tenner that’d fuel a whole night on the lash with enough left over for a liquid breakfast. It displeases that this option is no longer open to your average punter. Instead there’s an inferior amphetamine product that some like to call Charlie.  At £50 a pop. Doesn’t even last a lunch-time.  I should know.

But I at least got away from speed unscathed. Apart from the odd temper tantrum maybe. But nowt else. Unfortunately the same can’t be said for good ol’ Toot Toucan.  Its prosthetic beak time for that silly sod.