Lettuce? No!!

Carrots? No!!

Watercress? No!!

People, please forget everything that anyone has ever told you about what rabbits like to eat. It’s all bullshit.

Because rabbits love potatoes! Ideally deep fried. But baked or boiled are definitely OK. Any cooking method is good really except mashed. Mash gets caught in me whiskers.

The rabbit’s love of potatoes goes back to the old days. When we lived in burrows. Under the ground.

Your average rabbit is actually a lazy punter and in those times you couldn’t dial a delivery. So what do you do? You reach up into your ceiling and pull down a potato or two. Have yerself a decent meal and carry on waiting for TV to be invented.

Now we’s in modern times things have got a lot better. The rabbit strolls into his local chippie on his way to, or from, the pub (or both!) and it’s an Aladdin’s cave of potato delights.

Personally, I’ve always been a big fan of the curried chip. Very big up North. A carton of curried chips goes down a treat with a battered sausage or a battered burger. Chippy dippy sauce.

I also used to be bang up for a scallop. Not the poncey shell fish. No.  What I mean is the deep fried wedge of potato covered in crispy batter. Around 400 Cal each and over 50% saturated fat so I’m informed by Fast Gerald’s calorie counting phone app.

Glorious. But it’s hard to find a decent scallop in a chippie these days. Which is a shame given those impressive stats.

Anyways, if you’re cooking some scram for a special rabbit friend this weekend, I strongly recommend you base your menu around the potato. Go big on chips or, even better, potato wedges. You’ll have one very happy rabbit on your hands and that’s a result we all want.

And now I’m feeling extremely hungry. I’m off down me own local chippie – the Fat Friar’s Fryer. Aces.