Good evening i’m from Essex in case you couldn’t tell. My given name is Dickie, I come from Billerica and I’m doing very well.

Had a love affair with Nina in the back of my Cortina, a seasoned up hyena could not have been more obscener. She took me to the cleaners and other misdemeanours but I got right up between her rum and her Ribena. Well, you ask Joyce and Vicki if candy-floss is sticky. I’m not a blinking thicky. I’m Billericay Dickie and i’m doing very well.

I bought a lot of brandy. when I was courting Sandy. Took eight to make her randy and all I had was shandy. Another thing with Sandy what often came in handy was passing her a ‘Mandy’ she didn’t half go bandy. So you ask Joyce and Vicki if I ever took the mickey.  I’m not a flipping thicky

I’m billeicay dickie and I’m doing very well.

I’d rondez-vouez with Janet quite near the Isle of Thanet.  She looked more like a gannet, she wasn’t half a prannet. Her mother tried to ban it. Her father helped me plan it, and when I captured Janet she bruised her pomegranet. So you ask Joyce and Vickiif i ever shaped up tricky. I’m not a blooming thicky

I’m Billericay Dickie and I’m doing very well.

You should never hold a candle if you don’t know where it’s been The jackpot is in the handle on a normal fruit machine. So you ask Joyce and Vicki who’s their brickie. I’m not a common thicky. I’m Billericay Dickie and I’m doing very well.

I know a lovely old toe-rag obliging and noblesse kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness.  My given name is Dickie. I come from Billericay. I thought you’d never guess. So you ask Joyce and Vicki, a pair of squeaky chickies. I’m not a flaming thicky I’m Billericay Dickie and I’m doing very well.

Oh golly, oh gosh come and lie on the couch with a nice bit of posh from Burnham-on-Crouch. My given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay

and I ain’t a sloutch. So you ask Joyce and Vicki about Billericay Dickie. I ain’t an effin’ thicky, you ask Joyce and Vicki and I’m doing very well.

 

Respect to the Ian Dury. Don’t write ‘em like that anymore. Nuff said.