It might surprise you to know that I was gutted when good ol’ Hugo Chavez, President of  Venezuela, kicked the bucket.  “Oi, Bastard Bunny.” I hear you shout. “He was an arsing Socialist and there ain’t nothing you hate more that an arsing Socialist”.  And you’d be right there. Yes he was and, yes, I hate ‘em.

But revolutionary politics aside, the man was a friggin genius. He put the tracksuit back on the map in South America for the larger, more rounded gentleman . OK,  Maradona has done his bit but you never know what body weight that raj will be carrying one day from the next. And Chavez weren’t no sportsman. He was the friggin’ President.

And even better, it  looks like Nicolas Maduro is going to follow suit. Literally. That’s his successor to those of you who ain’t clued up on South American political shenanigans.  Nicolas is a big round punter, that’s for sure.

So come on David Cameron. If you want my vote, get yourself Chavez’d up. Because if you don’t, you know Boris will.