There was some arse punter down the local the other day what fancies himself as a bit of the intellect. Reads the Daily Mail.  He was congratulating me on starting  this here blog. “Didn’t know you could even write like, Bastard.” he says. So I fronted the cocksucker. “You calling me illegitimate?”  “Nah, mate. I’m paying you a compliment. You got a hidden talent, mate. Like an idiot savant.” “An idiot savant? An idiot fucking savant? You calling me a thick as shit antiseptic cream?”  So I bit the twat hard on his hooter (they never expect that!).  “Not so thick now am I, tosspot?” I says as blood gushes down his coupon.  “Better get yourself some of that antiseptic cream.”